Someone recently told me that I’m a control-freak. I don’t want to be one. Please help!
You are lucky to have someone honest enough with you to share this type of information. First, check in with yourself and make sure that it’s an honest assessment of how you behave. Then relax.
Being a control-freak is not necessarily a bad thing. We all have different personality traits that reveal themselves in unique ways. Even among control-freaks there are different ways that the tendency can manifest. The only bad thing about being a control-freak, or any other trait, is to be unaware that you have the tendency.
Now that you are aware of your controlling behaviors, I encourage you to ask yourself a few questions:
- How do I exhibit this trait?
- What are the good aspects of being this way? How does it help me?
- What are the bad aspects of being this way? How does it get in my way?
- How does it impact those around me?
- Does my tendency add or detract from my ability to motivate others?
- Is there an area of my life in which it’s more predominant?
Once you have identified how it’s impacting your life, then you can decide whether you want to make any changes and what those changes should be. You may desire to make some major changes in the way you deal with others. More likely, you’ll just want to be more aware of when you are being controlling and possibly make an effort at those times to take some of the rough edges off.
Maryann, we are who we are. We have a myriad of traits that we inherit from our past and the people we have been around. Embrace who you are – and then if you are unhappy with the way things are working out for you, make a voluntary choice to make positive changes. The good news is, you have 100% control to make these types of choices and changes. They may not be easy, but you do have the control!
Have a great day!